Adventures in Christmas
by asuka02redeva
Summary: One Shot from the currently going Adventures Saga. When Team Kakashi is given another A Rank mission, our trio can only imagine what the hokage had in mind. Ho Ho Ho!
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Oh this is seriously so evil that I can't believe that I'm actually doing it! With all the holiday hubbub going on, one can't help but notice a few things, especially the things that make us feel like kids again. This could be considered a side story—a one shot in the _Adventures Saga_ that takes place—in the spirit of Christmas. I do not own The Night Before Christmas or any of the references used within this story.

-

Insert: Ho Ho, Oh Hell No!

-

"You've got to be kidding!" exclaimed the blonde as he stood with his team before the desk of the hokage.

"I for once agree with Naruto," informed the raven haired shinobi who stood with his hands in his pockets before the hokage with an annoyed expression.

"Shishou, wouldn't, _oh I don't know_," began the pink haired kunoichi standing in between her teammates, motioning with her hands as if grasping for something and smiling nervously, "Konohamaru and his team be more suited for this," she paused, embarrassed to even say the next word, her inner feeling that a great rock had fallen from the heavens and landed on her in its descent, "_mission_?"

The hokage observed the trio before her, pouring herself another glass of sake in the process, and looking at them with a drunken expression plastered on her face, "No!" she bellowed, "Of course not! Why would I send them on this A Rank mission? After how you handled the last mission, you _deserve_ it!"

They watched as the sake ran over the rim of her glass and its contents leaked onto the desktop. Naruto's jaw dropped, Sasuke's eye twitched, and Sakura held her face in her hands and tried not to scream in despair.

-

"Are you three ready?" asked the cheerful hokage who just so happened to have Kakashi and Shizune in her office.

The three _delightful_ teens each held a bag in their hand and looked as though death would be more inviting. Naruto's eye landed on the too happy face of the hokage, the poorly hid smile on Shizune's face, and crinkling of his sensei's mask indicating an evil smirk. Sakura and Sasuke merely had settled under a cloud of doom and gloom.

"And tell us again, Tsunade Shishou," began Sakura through grit teeth and a forced smile, "Why can't Kakashi sensei join us in the Land of Festivities?"

"Well Kakashi has another mission to attend to," informed Tsunade with a wave of her hand, "I'm sure that you three will handle this mission perfectly on your own. Wouldn't you agree Kakashi?"

All eyes shifted toward the infamous copy ninja to find that his equally infamous orange covered book was now covering his face. This did not bode well, this indicated that his mask was most definitely crinkled; matching the crease of his eye and the shaking of his shoulders, well…you know what this meant.

"Good luck!" quickly intervened Tsunade, "We'll be expecting a mission report when you return! Or perhaps it would be better explained with pictures!"

The sound of the door slamming in their wake was their obvious reply to her suggestion…

-

"Baa-chan has finally lost it!" cried an outraged blonde as he stormed out of the village gates with bag in hand.

The normally stoic Uchiha was heard mumbling under his breath and the medic nin thought that she heard a few unpleasant words coming from his mouth. Well there were a few pleasant words in her mind that would equally match the distasteful words of the Uchiha. Meanwhile, the blonde continued to loudly object to this _mission_.

-

A boat, a train, and a long ass walk later…

Our tired trio arrived in the Land of Festivities…

Dragging their bags behind them, their shoulders slumped, their heads bowed as the annoyingly delightful music entered their ears and the blinking multicolored lights appeared before them, but it wasn't this that pushed our trio over the edge, no…

It was those damn greeters, with the smiles that ranged from cheerful to down right psychotic. Their outfits resembled something out of a poorly made Christmas movie with the bright reds and greens and the bells on the ends of their pointy toed shoes! And they just had to sing,

"Welcome to the Land of Festivities! Where All Your Christmas Dreams Come True!"

Did I mention it was sung off key?

And that our trio was far from having visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads?

Well, I'm mentioning it now.

"We're in hell," whispered Naruto, too terrified to move in the presence of the greeters.

Sakura's inner was threatening to appear, her facial expression already becoming altered, "I'm going to kill Kakashi sensei."

"Get in line," murmured the Uchiha through grit teeth, his eye twitching in the process.

"Well, come on in! You must be the replacements that we recruited from Konoha!" chimed an overly chipper and colorfully dressed female, "Come on! Come on! It's almost time for the show!"

Two sets of eyes watched as Naruto was apprehended, practically screaming and pleading for his other two teammates to intervene. The pair shared a look that screamed that they were torn from running away or suffering Tsunade's wrath?

Sakura looked toward Sasuke with a nervous smile and offered, "You've been a missing nin _before_."

-

Needless to say that idea was soon blown out of the water as they were _ushered _in through the gates with a delightful chorus of the same off key tune. Have you seen _It's a Wonderful Life_ where George Bailey gets his wish granted by Clarence the angel and finds out what life would be like if he had never existed? And remember how George wanted his old life back?

Well, this isn't that story. In this story, our trio would **prefer** that an angel erase them from life. For at this moment nonexistence was looking pretty favorable.

Our revered and highly skilled—did I mention, well respected—ninja of the leaf were making their big debut in society with a festive flare!

Subject Number 1

He's blonde, he wants to be Konoha's next hokage, and he's a little busy right now trying to fix his tights from riding up: meet Uzumaki Naruto! Or should I say, Santa's first little helper.

"Oh my god," cried an irate blonde catching a glimpse of himself in a store window, "my life sucks!"

For there he stood in all his elf glory wearing a nice green hat with a gold bell on the end that jingled each and every time he smacked his head against the shop's wall, a cheerful green long sleeved shirt with a black belt around his waist, stylish black elf tights, and green pointy shoes with, of course, bells on the ends.

Subject Number 2

She's got pink hair, a feisty temper, and can crush a man's hand with a mere handshake: meet Haruno Sakura! Or rather, Santa's second little helper.

"I'm so embarrassed," came her trembling voice, trembling from embarrassment or rage? Perhaps it's a combination?

For there she was, trying to hide behind a bagful of toys wearing, a pointy pink hat with a festive red stripe, a long sleeved—yes, you guessed it—pink dress with white trim on the cuffs of each sleeve and the rim of the skirt, with a stylish red belt around her waist, don't forget the candy cane red tights, and her red shoes with, yes, bells on the ends.

Subject Number 3

Yes ladies and gents, the moment you've all been waiting for…

He's a raven haired shinobi, a master of the ninja way, a guy who would rather crawl in a hole and die than be decked out in festive attire: Uchiha Sasuke. Or rather yet, Santa's little…well…he has a few hang ups about the holidays but he's still a little helper in his own right.

For there he stood, behind Santa's sleigh, wearing a red hat with green trim and a jingle bell, a red shirt with two gold buttons and green on the cuffs of each sleeve, a fashionable red belt, a pair of green pants with red on the ends of each pant leg, and black pointy toed shoes, with, you guessed it, jingle bells.

"I should have let Orochimaru kill me," was currently his mantra as he looked to the girl hiding behind a bagful of toys, and the blonde wishing for unconsciousness to take effect.

-

How delightful in deed!

-

But of course, elves need training before their big debut…

1 Hour Earlier

"It's pretty simple," happily explained the head elf—she too was decked out in elf attire with far too many jingle bells attached to her—as she passed out their job responsibilities, "When asked a question we say, _we are Santa's Elves_. Our job is to make sure that things run swimmingly for Santa. He's a very important individual in the Land of Festivities."

Our trio was sitting at classroom desks, their eyes growing wider at the material before them, the head elf's pointer rapping the chalkboard bringing them back from their reverie.

"As you can see," explained the elf, "The Santa process is simple. First, we escort Santa from his home,"

Their eyes followed the pointer indicating a pink chalk house with blue and green candy shapes reading _Santa's House_.

"It's important that no children know of Santa's whereabouts between the times he leaves his home to the time he arrives at the workshop,"

Again their eyes followed the colorful trail indicating the long road from Santa's House to the workshop—big red and green bold letters stating _Top Secret_ on the board—which was a white box with two grinning green and red elves holding a sign reading, _The Workshop_.

"Next comes the caroling to gather the children around Santa," she informed with a delightful sigh, pointing to the colorful elves holding music books.

"Not more singing," mouthed Naruto.

Sakura and Sasuke merely followed the pointer afraid of what was next.

"Then once the children are gathered you must keep them in single file and entertain them until it is their turn to see Santa."

"Entertain them?" mouthed Sakura.

The head elf sighed happily, "Then each boy and girl will tell Santa what it is that they most desire for Christmas and we shall send them off with freshly baked cookies."

"If she sighs one more time…" mouthed Sasuke, his eye twitching.

_Sigh_

_Crack_

"And that's really all there is to being an elf!" finished the head elf, "Now hurry, hurry, don your costumes and go forth with a song in your heart and a shovel in your hand!"

Our trio stopped at the door before turning and simultaneously asking, "Shovel?"

-

"All these things do is crap!" cried an irate blonde, walking around with a shovel and bucket in hand.

Sakura sighed holding onto one side of the reins for the reindeer out in front of Santa's Workshop, "Naruto, watch your—

"How the hell am I supposed to get this off the bottom of my shoe?! And where the hell is Santa?!" questioned the frustrated elf in training.

Sakura had her hands covering both ears, between Naruto and the horrid overly happy music; it wasn't going to be much longer before she officially lost it.

"Isn't that in our job description?" asked the gloomiest elf of them all, holding onto the reins of the eight pooping reindeer.

A ringing was suddenly heard as our trio looked down at the cuffs of their sleeves. How delightful to have a pager built into your costume. Now dash away, dash away, dash away all…

"Did Santa just page us?" questioned Naruto with a look of disbelief as they headed down the street.

"Do you know of anyone else who signs their message with, _The Fat Man_?" asked Sakura, trying to keep her head down and not draw attention to themselves.

"I wonder if the reindeer will be alright?" wondered Sasuke with a sigh of annoyance, "Were we supposed to bring them with us?"

They all stopped to pull out their _We Are Santa's Elves_ manual.

"Guys, remind me why we are doing this again?" asked Naruto, flipping through the pages of the manual…

_The cheery head elf passed them their shovels, "Have fun!" _

_Just before they made it to the doorway, an evil aura was sensed as the trio stopped and slowly turned around. How the delightful elf had changed into a demonic looking creature._

"_And remember, if you mess up, I have the Hokage on speed dial."_

"Oh right," began Naruto with a sigh, "That's why."

We are Santa's Elves, more like Satan's. If the head elf were this frightening, imagine how Santa might be?

-

"Well this looks like the place," informed Sakura, looking up at the brightly lit building.

"Are you sure, Sakura-chan?" questioned Naruto, tilting his head to the side and looking over her shoulder.

"Pretty sure," she replied, sweatdropping, holding the map at an angle, "Well as sure as I can be with a map drawn with a crayon and gumdrops for land marks."

"Let's just get the guy and go," offered the frustrated raven haired elf, "The sooner we get him, the sooner we end this stupid mission."

"I'm with Sasuke-kun," began Sakura, stuffing the map into one of her dress pockets.

Our trio headed toward the door of the building…

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

"…"

_Jingle _

_--Oh the joy of wearing Jingle Bells--_

"God that jingling is annoying!" cried Naruto, banging on the door of the establishment.

"For someone who just paged us, he sure is taking a while to get to the door," commented Sasuke with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Maybe there's a back door?" wondered Naruto, trudging around the back of the building.

"Naruto wait!" hollered Sakura, grumpily heading off after the blonde.

Sasuke watched as the two disappeared around the corner and rolled his eyes, "I'll just guard the front door."

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

"See Sakura-chan, I told you there had to be a back door!" triumphantly stated the blonde.

Sakura arched an eyebrow, "Perhaps it's to lead him safely to the workshop?" Her finger went to her chin in thought and her eyes widened as she watched Naruto open the door.

"Look Sakura-chan," he began with a foxy grin, "It's unlocked, let's get the guy and go."

"Naruto maybe we shouldn't—

Her eye twitched as she watched the blonde let himself in and disappear around the corner,

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

"…go in…" she sighed, her shoulders slumped as she followed after her teammate.

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

-

Meanwhile still outside the front door…

"What the hell is taking them so long?" wondered the Uchiha, leaning against the side of the building with his arms crossed. He sweatdropped at the annoying ringing coming from his cuff and looked down to read the message.

_Attention Elves, Santa is expected at his workshop in 20 minutes. You know what will happen if you mess up. Cheerful Wishes, The Head Elf._

The raven haired elf's eye twitched, "Oh hell."

-

"Naruto," whispered the pink haired elf, listening for that wretched jingle, "Naruto?"

She rounded the corner and started to make a mental note of the place. Sure it was jolly, she guessed, but it wasn't really what she had envisioned for _Santa's house_. There were nutcrackers and brightly colored figurines on the shelves, shiny garland over the doorways, even a brightly colored Christmas tree in the center of the room, but something seemed off. Before she could give any more thought to the matter her accomplice was heard.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan, I found him!"

She took off toward his voice…

_Jingle _

_Jingle_

And what she saw before her as she reached the room at the end of the hallway made her eyes widen.

-

The gloomy elf at the front door was growing gloomier with every passing moment. It wasn't until he heard his pink haired elf—er—teammate's scream ring out that he threw caution to the wind and quickly ran around the back of the building.

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

"Damn bells!"

-

Sasuke ran through the building, tracing his teammates' chakra patterns and slid to a halt to find a pink haired elf shaking her head, her face in her hands as she mumbled incoherently.

"Sakura?!" he yelled, fearing the worst, yet nothing could have prepared him for this.

Sakura stood in the doorway, looking between her fingers to find Naruto shrieking to high heavens his hands fisted in his hair practically pulling it out in the process, and the Uchiha's jaw may have dropped—had he been anyone other than an Uchiha—at the sight of a fat man in his old fashioned red one piece pajamas sitting on the edge of his bed running a hand through his long white beard. He stood, turning to get a glimpse of the new comer and blinked as Naruto frantically waved his hands and tried to hurry him into the bathroom to don his cheerful and jolly red suit. It wasn't until the fat man shrugged, reaching down to scratch himself that the drop seat of his pajamas let go and he was heard commenting,

"Hm, drafty in here today."

_Ring Ring_

_10 minutes until Santa's big arrival elves! We expect to see your jolly faces! – The Head Elf_

"Hurry Naruto!" cried Sakura throwing the big red suit in his direction, "Get him into the suit!"

"Ack!" wailed Naruto, "I think he's fallen asleep on the toilet!"

"Sasuke-kun, please go help Naruto!" pleaded Sakura, looking at her teammate with a desperate expression.

The Uchiha was leaned against the wall, trying to rid himself of the entire scene; he opened an eye and looked at the pink haired girl, her desperation evident on her face as she stood before him with clasped hands.

"Please Sasuke-kun?" she begged, "I have to find his hat and we only have ten minutes to get him to the workshop."

That was fine. That would Sakura's Christmas present this year from the Uchiha as far as he was concerned.

_Crash_

_Bang_

"Oh my, you two sure are strong," commented Santa as he was hoisted off the toilet seat and thrown into his suit.

"I've got his hat," declared a triumphant looking pink haired elf, as she held onto the door frame and tried to catch her breath, waving the hat in her hand.

"We've got _him_!" hollered Sasuke from the bathroom, holding up one side of the fat man.

"Let's get going, we have to make it to the workshop in five minutes," anxiously stated Naruto, hurrying the man out of the bathroom with the help of his teammate.

"Workshop?" questioned Santa, "I suppose I should go to work, what time is it anyways?"

As they hauled the man down the hallway, Sakura placed his red and white trimmed hat on top of his balding white head.

"God this guy makes Gamatatsu look intelligent!" cried Naruto, as they looked at the time.

-

The streets were beginning to fill with the cheerful faces of the people, and the welcoming of a new day had created a wonderful mood. There were carolers on the street corners, vendors dressed up in festive attire, and the sun was shining down on the Land of Festivities, what a picture perfect moment it was.

Like I said, it _was_.

Right before a trio of elves plowed through the busy streets, ceasing all movement and song in their wake.

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

"Run, Run!" cried a blonde elf.

"We're running! We're running!" shouted the female elf.

"We've got 2 minutes left! Push more chakra into your feet!" hollered the raven haired elf.

The people's jaws merely dropped as they watched three elves run down the street, carrying a rather large man in a red suit who was reciting,

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and hmmm…what happened to the other reindeer?"

-

"Alright," began Sakura, her chest heaving as they set Santa on his throne, "We made it."

"Just barely," replied the Uchiha, faring a little better than his teammates.

The blonde was slouched against Santa, his hands on the arm of the throne, "God, how much do you weigh?"

"That's a little personal don't you think?" questioned Santa, "Now what about _them_?"

Our trio slowly turned, their heads resembling run down wind up toys, their eyes widening at the sight of a mob of unruly children standing at the gates of Satan's—I mean—Santa's Workshop.

-

"Back," rang out the voice of the blonde elf at the gate of screaming children, "Back I say!"

_We Want Santa!_

Had been their mantra for the past half hour as our trio tried to keep the masses at bay…

"Yeah, yeah," remarked the hyperactive elf, "Santa's a busy man! You'll get your turn!"

"How's it going up there Sakura?!" hollered the gloomy elf, trying to keep the kids from climbing the reindeer, tempted to use his sharingan on each and every one of them.

The female elf stood next to Santa's throne with a tray full of cookies in hand, carefully observing Santa's interactions with the children.

A chubby young boy currently occupied Santa's lap, "And I want a bike, and a train set, and a—

"That's a long list you've got there," informed Santa, looking to the female elf, "When's lunch?"

The pink haired elf merely sighed and hung her head in defeat as the unperturbed boy continued to inform Santa of his demands. But it wasn't until the chubby young boy approached her that her attention returned to the situation.

-

"I said get off the reindeer," informed the menacing elf towering over the child who now occupied Prancer's or maybe it was Donder's back? Who the hell cares? That child was moving.

-

"Look kids, Santa will see you when he's good and ready," growled the frustrated elf, "No one gets into see Santa without getting through me first, understand?"

-

"Look kid," stated the pink haired elf through grit teeth, "You had your cookie, now move on."

The chubby brat standing before her glared, gripping the opposite end of the tray, "I want these cookies and I'm not leaving until I get them."

"Then I'm sorry to disappoint you _little _boy," growled the elf, "But those cookies are for the good little girls and boys standing at the gate to see Santa. We wouldn't want to disappoint them, would we?"

He merely glared at her, the sparks flying between the two as each pulled on an end of the tray, "I don't care about any of them, and I'm taking these cookies!"

-

"Make me," replied the defiant little brat sitting on the reindeer with a scoff.

The gloomy elf's eye twitched. Did a five year old just scoff at him? The twitching increased tenfold as the little heathen dared to do it again with an accompanying smart ass smirk.

"Last chance, get _off _the reindeer."

-

"Hey, don't try to climb the gate you little brat!" hollered the elf trying to man the gates, "You'll end up on Santa's naughty list!"

-

As for Santa, he slowly looked around to see the holiday cheer that his elves were spreading…

"Give me the tray," warned the pink haired elf, pulling on the other end of the tray.

"Make me!" exclaimed the spoiled brat.

Her jaw dropped as his foot connected with her shin, yet her grip did not waver, although her facial expression did become distorted, "Shannaro! You're going down chubby!

…

"You don't look like an elf," observed the child firmly planted on one of Santa's eight reindeer, "Your ears aren't pointy and you don't smile."

"I'm not going to act like an elf either if you don't get off that reindeer," warned the elf with his patience dwindling.

"I dare you to try it!" cried the obstinate child smirking at the elf.

…

"I said don't try it kid," advised the elf, holding back the masses with all his strength.

"Ha, you couldn't stop an old lady!" taunted the child as he jumped down into the sacred grounds of Santa's Workshop.

…

"My elves are certainly a lot more entertaining this year," commented Santa running a hand through his beard.

He whistled in awe as a child strapped to a cookie tray resembled a flying disc as he flew out of sight. Wrinkled his nose as a child landed face first in a large pile of reindeer droppings. And blinked as a clone elf army barricaded the gates while the original took down the renegade child resembling a _running back_ in a game of football that slide about fifty feet into a snow pile.

A large pipe whistle rang out as Santa happily lifted himself from his throne, "Lunch time!"

-

Our three jolly elves sat on Santa's sleigh eating sandwiches on their lunch break.

"I can't believe they didn't have ramen," grumbled Naruto, angrily taking a bite out of his sandwich.

Sakura sighed, "It's almost over, only a few more hours until we're free," she informed, taking a bite of her lunch.

"If we can keep it together until then, we can get the hell out of this place by nightfall," explained Sasuke who unknowingly was mashing his sandwich in his hands.

-

And sadly their delightful lunch ended with the blowing of the whistle…

So the masses had returned once more, the cookies had been replenished, and the reindeer had been fed, all was well with this delightful scene…

Oh wait, what's missing?

You've got the screaming kids, the cookies, another tray had been provided, the reindeer were good to go, and…

"Where the hell is the fat man?" questioned Naruto, indicating the very empty throne marked _Santa's_.

Sakura quickly looked around, noticing the heathens were about to storm the gates, "He must be in the workshop."

"Let's just get him out here," ordered Sasuke leading the troops to the door of the workshop.

As they turned the door knob, the smell of freshly baked cookies, and paint from the newly painted toys, even the smell of a Christmas tree came wafting through. But there was another smell. Yes, it was almost overpowering as their eyes scanned the area for Santa. Yet it was the female of the group who recognized this smell.

"What's wrong Sakura-chan?" questioned Naruto, noticing the wrinkling of her nose.

"It smells like Tsunade Shishou's office," she remarked offhandedly.

Our trio froze as realization dawned on them.

5 Minutes Later…

"Oh god!" wailed Naruto, "He's been hitting the eggnog!"

His partners watched as he continued to shake the man before them in a futile attempt to revive him. They had found Santa slumped over at his desk, drooling on the nice or naughty list.

"Maybe we could just prop him up and no one would notice?" offered Sasuke, "We don't need the head elf to get wind of this."

Sakura winced, "Yeah, she'd send word to Tsunade Shishou and we'd be ruined."

"Wake up old man!" pleaded Naruto, shaking him profusely, "Our futures are riding on this!"

The old man blinked, "Riding? Is it time to gather my reindeer and fly into the sky?"

"You two leave him to me," ordered Sakura, rolling up her sleeves, "Stall for some time."

-

_Thud_

"Did she just kick us out?" questioned Naruto as he stood in front of the closed door of the workshop.

"Kind of looks like it _dobe_," commented Sasuke with an annoyed expression.

"So what are we going to do about them?" asked Naruto, sweatdropping at the screaming children.

"Try entertaining them," suggested Sasuke with a smirk.

-

"Alright old man," informed Sakura, looking down at him and running her sleeve across her forehead, "I've done all I can do. The rest is up to you and—

She sweatdropped, "What the hell is that noise?"

"Why it's the sweet sound of caroling," informed Santa as he staggered to the window of the workshop.

-

"Silent Night…"

Sasuke wasn't sure what was worse, the screaming kids or Naruto's singing?

"Holy," Naruto threw a snowball at a child trying to climb the gates, "shit get down from there!"

Yeah, Naruto's singing was definitely worse…

"All is calm," he pointed his finger menacingly at the group, "Calm kids, calm!"

-

Sakura ran her hand down her face and then blinked as she heard the workshop door open.

For the jolliest elf of them all had left the building with a song in his heart and proceeded to gather the children.

-

The Uchiha nearly managed to sidestep the singing Santa. He arched an eyebrow as his female teammate appeared from the doorway of the workshop with a sheepish grin.

"I thought you said you'd take care of it," commented Sasuke standing with his arms crossed.

"Uh…" began Sakura rubbing the back of her head nervously, "Perhaps I should have given him decaffeinated coffee?"

Sasuke scowled watching as Santa proceeded to dance—er—stagger merrily…

"All is bright!" sang Santa, as he happily opened the gates to the masses.

Naruto's jaw nearly touched the ground as he screamed in pure horror, "Bright?! That wasn't bright!"

-

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!" exclaimed Santa with a jolly grin, "To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Sakura sighed watching from her perch on the workshop roof as the stampede of children plowed through the area, "There go the children."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, sitting along side of her, "There go the reindeer."

"And there goes Santa in the back of his sleigh," they both groaned simultaneously as Santa waved goodbye.

_As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, _

"C'mon Naruto," sighed Sakura looking down at the twitching form on the ground that had fallen victim to the stampede of children, "We've got to clean this mess up."

_When they meet with an obstacle, _

_CRASH_

_Mount to the sky…_

"Don't worry boys," came Santa's voice from down the lane, "We just need a running start!"

_But they heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, _

"_Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!"_

-

_When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,_

_But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,_

_With a little elf driver, so lively and pissed,_

_They knew in a moment their futures were bleak._

Our trio of elves held their brooms defensively before them.

_More rapid than eagles her coursers they came,_

_And she whistled and shouted and cursed the ninja by name. _

"I knew she was too happy," whispered Naruto who received two nods in response.

-

"How the hell were we supposed to know that wasn't Santa?" griped Naruto as the gates to the Land of Festivities slammed behind them.

"We mistook the town drunk for Santa," moaned Sakura, "He ran amuck in the town, took out countless pedestrians, and left a trail of reindeer droppings in his wake," her shoulders slumped as they walked, "Oh God what is Tsunade Shishou going to say?"

"I'm more afraid of what the people we encounter outside of this land are going to say," grumbled Sasuke, a sour expression on his face.

"They could have at least given us our clothes back before throwing us out!" bitterly cried Naruto.

"First stop, a clothing store," our trio agreed simultaneously.

_Jingle_

_Jingle_

-

Happy Holidays to all!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: I haven't done anything Christmas for a while. Why not come up with the perfect after math for an insert done 4 years ago? Nothing too special, just a cute little poetry change.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Twas the Night After Christmas_ or any references made. This is just for fans of Naruto to enjoy.

NNN

_**Twas the night after Christmas and all through their walk, **_

_**All Naruto did was to bitch and to talk**_

_**Not a creature was stirring—excepting 3 ninja **_

_**Who had thrown 3 jingle bell hats away in their haste**_

_**Knowing that Tsunade would soon lay them to waste **_

_**Children in Konoha were probably restlessly tossing in bed,**_

_**For the kunai and shuriken were heavy as lead**_

_**While Tsunade with her sake and Jiraiya with his laughter,**_

_**Had just made up their minds not to end their playful banter—at our ninjas expense**_

_**Surely someone in the village would ask what was the matter**_

_**When our ninjas arrived home in a few days with their clothes all a tatter?**_

_**Away from the road they made a mad dash! **_

_**Flew over some snow banks with a loud CRASH**_

_**With a hushed mutter they heard a great mash**_

_**Of boots crunching snow **_

_**As their heads peeked out slowly toward the object below**_

_**When what to their long anxious eyes should appear**_

_**But a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer **_

_**With a little old driver looking sober and slow **_

_**They knew at a glance that it must be their foe! **_

_**They drew back their heads and were turning around,**_

_**When up came Santa with scarcely a sound**_

_**His breath wasn't atrocious **_

_**Naruto was feeling quite precocious**_

_**Santa wore some overcoat made long ago**_

_**And the beard on his chin had traces of cookie dough**_

_**He mumbled about elves and their work**_

_**While Naruto hollered, "You Jerk!"**_

_**Before the old man had the chance to slide his finger aside of his nose **_

_**The three ninja had arose**_

_**For surely his capture would save their reputations**_

_**And they'd be able to ring in the New Year with good salutations**_

_**They didn't recall him to be so cunning**_

_**He soon had the ninja all running**_

_**Santa tried to reason with them about bad kids and no candy**_

_**While Naruto indicated that he had never been dandy**_

_**At long last they were able to apprehend **_

_**And as they stuffed him in the back seat of the sleigh, their troubles they thought had come to an end**_

_**Naruto laughed and took hold of the reins, before he exclaimed, "Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"**_

_**The 3 ninja barely had time to anticipate their near fall**_

_**As they flew through the night, their mouths all ajar **_

_**Their village suddenly did not seem so far**_

_**When they landed on the Hokage's roof, with a little old man all tied up in rope,**_

_**They knew no one could save them, not even the Pope! **_

_**For Santa had seen them on the road far from home,**_

_**Stopped to escort them he thought he should**_

_**He had no idea they'd be up to no good**_

_**The Hokage in her pajamas glared at the trio before exclaiming to Santa, "Well...a good night to you!"**_

_**Santa cleared his throat, giving a weary look toward the young ninja, "You too."**_

_**And they heard him exclaim over the irate Hokage's voice, as he flew out of sight,**_

"_**Some children just really aren't too bright!"**_


End file.
